Seal of Approval

I find myself on a sort of high right now. No! I am not under the influence of any kind. I just, I am just... pleased with myself, you can say. I know that is sort of odd to say, but nevertheless, it is true.

Now, I don't know if anyone is truly reading this blog or if they accidentally stumbled upon here and are about to log off. I don't know if anyone cares, but as of right now, I care. I care about what I write and about what I am about to write. I find the approval in myself and that is all I need. I think that is the most important thing.

At times we find ourselves caught up in trying to have others be pleased at our existence, but during the time of trying to make others happy, we find ourselves miserable. Why? Why should we put ourselves aside for other people. I am not talking about becoming selfish, just know that your happiness is just as important. Sometimes we forget that. Maybe we can have it all or maybe not, but we can try.

I started this blog as a way to blow off steam, as a way to be heard and change lives, as a way to be who I truly believe myself to be yet found it hard to be in the real world, (I guess you can say I find my inner thoughts to be easier to show through my writings) Of course I would love to touch more lives. I would love to get more views and have it actually make a difference. Just to know that my voice is important to someone would be wonderful, but the fact that I still continue to post despite actually having followers, I find it a win. Half of the battle was trying and I think I succeeded.

Love Always, (even if you haven't read my blog or decide to not to read further)

Release the Hounds and Negative Energy

I. Am. Done. I am sick and tired of being jealous and hating on people. And before you get all worked up, I am a nice person. I am. But there is always that one person that can get under your skin like nobody's business. They make it impossible for you to live. You want to take a brick to their face and smash it. You want to do a movie montage of your many attempts to ruin their life like in Mean Girls. It is crazy, but it is true. And if you are reading this right now and are shaking your head back and forth in a "no" position, you are lying to yourself. Seriously. But as of yet, I am through with it all.

This transformation or enlightenment or whatever you want to call it is not something that just happened suddenly. It was a walk up. Just like homework, I procrastinated. I could not miss out on the chance on bad mouthing that person whenever I found a new ally created out of pure annoyance of the person. Gossip is an evil mistress, but unfortunately to tempting to turn down.

Now though, with lent upon us, I feel the need to grow as a person. I feel the need to give up more than Netflix and chocolate for forty days. I really want to make a change. So that is what I am going to do. It won't be easy and I am aware of that but it must be done. And I know once it is done, I will be able to go on with my life much more happier than I was before. I truly believe I can do it because I don't think I can go on  otherwise. They are not worth my time and to be honest, I have so much more things that need to be done.

I will let you know how it goes.

Until then, its been interesting...

Happy Discounted Chocolate Day!

Flowers! Flowers everywhere. And no wonder why we have a national shortage of helium. Its all stuck in some cheesy balloon that says "Happy Valentines Day."  Ugh! How I hate that. Its a commercialized holiday invented by the greeting card company and corporate America. But, I don't hate it. Weird huh? I know. I actually like it. I know it is the one day a year that throws the fact that I am single in my face, but I don't mind. I am not a big flowers person, I am too old for stuffed animals, and I was not lying how I think that those balloons were cheesy. The only thing I like is the chocolate. And I really only go after them until the day after Valentine's day (discounted duh!). I guess I like what it represents. We live in a busy world. We are all stuck doing our own thing. But one day a year is set aside to show how love should be celebrated. Of course if it is true love it should be celebrated everyday not just once a year. And I am pretty sure Valentines day consists of more lust than love, but that may be just my cynic view.

Until Next Time...

Rosie Might Understand

I find myself torn. Torn between not paying for dinner and getting equal pay. As most of you know I am in high school. As none of you know, I am taking a little class called welding. It started off as a filler class since my schedule was practically empty and now I am totally into it.  The majority of the class are boys. I am one of the only 2 girls in the whole class of 20.  Being a girl and looking and acting as I do, you can pretty much guess the reaction I get from informing people of my latest endeavor. Before I entered the class I received a "You Understand that we weld here and get dirty " only to respond that I was aware of all this which is the reason I requested this class.  Of coarse, me having a Tina Fey complex, I didn't blame him  Its been a semester in and I had been getting the hang of it, until I realized the boys were doing all of the heavy lifting for me. Do I honestly look that helpless?  They are great guys and sweet for helping, but I bet dollars to donuts if I was a guy, none of this would be happening. Now while I love having the door open for me, being able to vote is a right I am not willing to give up. So I pose the question, Can we all seriously be equal in every aspect of life? Can we honestly give up everything we have grown accustomed to? The pulling out of the chairs, and the holding of the doors, and the holding in their farts until they are with their friends. I don't know about the ladies, but I like my air toxic free. So I find myself torn between not having to do the yard work and being told I belong in the kitchen, between being independent and having someone around the house that can open a pickle jar. I don't know if it will ever be possible for a girl like me to walk into an Auto Shop without everyone looking at me differently, but I can make sure that I will be prepared enough to answer them correctly when they ask me about my car.

Until next time, don't forget to comment and come again soon.

Yours truly,

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Stuck in Ambiguity

I don't know where I stand. I was looking at the settings for this blog. It said to describe it. Put your blog into a category. Is it, fashion, sports, DIY projects? Truth be told I have no clue. I want to talk about everything, but there is not exactly a "This and That" category. I was confused. Truth be told, I have been confused a lot.

If I walked into the cafeteria of Mean Girls I am pretty sure I would have to pull a Cady and eat lunch in the bathroom. Let's get one thing straight though, I am not a loser with no friends. I am just not sure who I am lately.

I am too lazy to be a JOCK. I am too athletic to be LAZY. I dress too nice to be considered SLOPPY, but not nice enough to be a FASHIONISTA. I quit band so BAND GEEK is out of the question and I am not smart enough to be a NERD. I don't do drugs so I am not a STONER, and if I go under the term YEARBOOK NERD, I would be a party of one. So who am I?

Stuck in ambiguity, I have no idea. But does it really matter? If I am fine where I am, here in limbo, I don't need to be defined. Then on days of clarity I am stuck to wonder, does everyone else feel the same. Does the quarterback wonder where he belongs when it is not a Friday night. When the seasons all end and graduation begins, where does he lie? And the nerd. What happens when he fails? Is he still a nerd?

Obviously, these labels were not thought out fully. If they were they would be more permanent but instead need to be subject to change.

I am told college is different. Actually, I know. I, being the high achiever I am, have been taking some college classes half a day and in the summer. In college it doesn't matter what category you are in. College is all about being who you are or at least who you want to be. And until I find out who any of those people are, I am just gonna experiment until I find the right fit. And by experiment I do not mean the weird confused sexuality thing girls go through during college. I just mean... I don't know what I mean. But, you will have to just stay tuned to find out.

Until next time.